Friday, August 17, 2007

The Blue Dress

Part two to my whole "don't look at me" saga.
While I was losing weight my friend announced her wedding date was in March. I thought that would be an excellent motivation, to be slim by then.
I also imagined how fab it would be to wear a fantastic dress and have everyone notice my weightloss blah blah blah.
So to thank me for the stuff I did for her wedding my friend gave me a gift voucher and told me to buy myself a fabulous dress. And make it something out there that I normally wouldn't wear.
I bought an electric blue, tight fitting corset dress. I loved it and looked so thin in it. I just couldn't wait to wear it.
So the big day arrives and hubby straps me in, but he did it different than the girls in the shop and I ended up with this hole at the back. Like someone looks when they're too fat for their shirts and the buttons are gaping? that's what the back looked like. My friend undid me and did it up again but that was it, I hated it. I hated people looking at me. I felt like they were looking at the back and thinking "she's too fat for that hahaha, what was she thinking?" I was so embarrassed by their "you've lost weight" comments etc......my wish had come true but I wish it hadn't.
As soon as the ceremony was over I raced home to get changed. Black pants and a black top. Ah that's better, no one will look at me now.
I am just so confusing. I want them to notice but then I hate it when they do. I bought a flashy dress so everyone would look at me, and then hated them looking at me.